When you tell someone you're a student, they have one image--short skirts, lots of beer, sleeping until noon. They picture the hostess at Cheeseburger in Paradise, driving around in Daddy's shiny new car. They see such an easy life, full of dates and parties. I know several stereotypical college girls, and while it's definitely not all fun and games, they definitely live in a completely different world.
(Now, before I get a bunch of angry comments, let me just say, I have nothing against the stereotypical college girl. My sister happens to be one of them, and she works REALLY hard. All I'm saying is that there are a lot of things about college life that I do not understand, mostly Greek traditions. Have a conversation with K. and she'll tell you I would NEVER fit into her sorority!)
Sorry about that tangent, I'll get to my point. My college career has been anything but easy. I have never been the traditional college student. I'm far to introverted. The first two years I spent curled up on my bed with a book. Then, my sophomore year I got a job as an after hours customer service rep and dispatcher for a local plumbing company. That same year, I met J. Those two took over. I loved my job, I felt like I was actually doing something productive. And you all know what happen with J. :). Anyway, about the same time, I started taking my business courses, and that's when the real disdain for college started. I LOVED my core classes (well, except astrology and math). But I never saw a point in the business courses. I made the mistake of being a Business Administration major, instead of something more specific. The major has no plan. I had to take a few classes in each department, but there was no real direction. I have had a very hard time connecting what I'm learning in accounting to what I'm learning in human resources. And throw in finance and it's all over (literally. I failed my last finance class. Upper level theoretical analysis of investments just could NOT take root in my brain, no matter how much I studied).
My junior year, I really started to feel awful about school. While I've never been the smartest person in my class, I've always felt somewhat intellegent. But that year I really started to feel stupid. Add to that the fact that J. was in Iraq and my main source of support was now limited to 1 line emails and 4 minute phone calls on tapped lines. It was a rough year, but I made it though. But I wanted to quit. Ask anyone. I just wanted to drop out, I would NEVER make it though my senior year. I was beaten up. But, I'm too stubborn to quit with only one year left.
Then I took that finance class I mentioned above. I also got married the same semester. It was awful. The decreasing confidence I had was completely dashed. I was exhausted. But I had one semester left. And luckily, I only had 3 electives and 1 business course (and 1 10 week internet course to replace the finance class, but that wasn't a big deal). Which really shouldn't have been bad except I've been sick more this semester than I've ever been. I even ended up in the ER a few weeks ago.
But now, I'm almost there. I'm going to make it. I'm going to walk across that damn stage (and then wait a month for my diploma to arrive). Then, I'm probably going to burn my books and notebooks and Ball State sweatshirts and anything else related to college. Ok, not really. But I will clean out all of my notebooks. And then I'm headed out of town, with or without my husband, depending on if he can get off work. But either way, I'm out of here. Going down to visit my cousin in North Carolina for a few days. And I'm taking AN ENTIRE WEEK OFF. 7 whole days! I didn't even take that much off when I got married. I'm really really excited! Can you tell?
1 comment:
Congratulations on your graduation.
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