It's only been a few days but already I'm having a rough time of it. "But Haley, you guys survived a year and a half deployment! 3 weeks should be easy!!!" I've been hearing that a lot lately, as we've prepared for this. It should be easy. But it's not. Actually, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I went home this weekend to escape the fact that it was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Our relationship has changed so much in the past two years. When J deployed, we had only been dating 9 months. We weren't living together--I lived at school and he lived with his mom. We spent as much time as possible together, but it was usually once or twice a week, definitely not every day. We knew we would probably be together long term, but our relationship still had a lot of growing to do, and the deployment had a lot to do with that. He was gone, but my life wasn't centered around him. I missed him terribly, more than I ever thought I could, but my day to day life didn't really involve him.
Now, however, J is the most important person in my life. He's here, every single day, at the beginning, at the end, sometimes in the middle. Our marriage is still new and we're still working out the kinks, but he is an integral part of my day to day life. It's hard enough on drill weekends, where he's gone overnight. I hate drill weekends. But take him out of the picture for 3 whole weeks? I'm not really sure what to do with myself. Luckily, my family is close enough that I can go home on the weekends, so I'm not stuck in this tiny studio apartment by myself on the weekends. But nights are hard, like tonight. The apartment is quiet, even Keira has settled down for the time being. I've been trying to read but I can't stay focused. Normally, J'd be sitting next to me watching YouTube videos, driving me crazy because the volume is too loud and if I have to listen to one more screaming skateboarder I might throw the laptop out the window!
I don't know where I'm going with this. I miss my husband. That's about it. 4 days down, 18 to go :(.