Some last minute wedding thoughts

I know I said I probably wouldn't blog until after the wedding, but I lied. There's a few things on my mind and I figured it would be a nice little update. Here goes....

Wow. That's the word that just keeps going through my mind. We have 5 days left! This thing called a wedding is really going to happen! The feeling is a bit overwhelming. While Jordan and I only got engaged about 11 months ago, we've been thinking and talking about getting married for a much longer time than that. It's always been that thing we are going to do in the future. It's now not really so far in the future anymore. We met with Pastor Bell yesterday evening, he kind of walked us through what we were going to be doing (a great idea for you future brides out there, meet with your officiant before the rehearsal. It will take so much pressure off!). It just made the whole thing so real. We were both pretty choked up by the time we left the church.

What's really strange about the whole thing is that the closer I get, the less stressed out I seem to be. I've been all but losing it the past month or so, but in the past few days I've been pretty relaxed. Sure, there are a few last minute details to put together, but for the most part, everything is done. I go in for my final fitting tomorrow, and actually get to take my dress home! I have my rehearsal outfit, I've started packing for our minimoon. 

Basically, I had to force myself to snap out of the funk I've been in. I've been so worried about all of the details of the wedding, and school and work, and everything else going on right now, that I really haven't enjoyed any of the planning process. But last week, after a long conversation with Mom on our way to Indy (and back and all the time in between), I finally got it into my thick skull that it doesn't matter that work has been super stressful lately, or the economy has crashed, or there has been so much drama with the bridesmaid dresses. For one amazing day, it is all about Jordan and me. I know that as soon as the moment comes when we first see each other, everything else will melt away. It will be just like that first night we really knew each other, when we laid out for hours on top of Christman's SUV and watched the stars. There was such a peace that night, not really a "love at first sight" moment, but just a peace of mind that said "this is it, this is what it's supposed to feel like to really connect with someone."

We've grown so much since then, our relationship has gotten much more complicated, and there's been more drama than stars in that bright sky. Still, we've gotten through a deployment, a devastating loss, and so many other smaller troubles. He's still the one I want to come home to at night, the one I laugh with, cry with, yell with. The one who rubs my feet when we're watching Mythbusters and eating leftovers on a night when I've been pushed to my limit. The one who drives me nuts when he mixes the white laundry with the blue jeans or puts an empty ice pan back into the freezer. I can't wait for him to drive me crazy for the rest of my life :). We're going to face at least one more deployment, many more devastating losses. I'm going to have to fight him every morning when he chooses Doritos instead of granola for breakfast. But he is going to be the one I jump up and down with when I FINALLY get this damn diploma, the one I'm going to share my beignets with in NOLA, the one who's going to hold my hand when I'm having my babies and every happy moment after. For all his "Oh Jordan" moments, he is such a strong and sturdy rock in my life and I can't wait to go through life with him holding my hand.

Phew, that was a lot longer than I planned. 5 days left people. LET'S DO THIS THING!!!!

Writerz Blox

Image Source

I was really on a blogging kick there for awhile, but I seem to have hit a block. It's probably mostly pre-wedding stress and lack of free time, but hopefully once everything calms down I'll be able to get back into it. Back in approximately 2 weeks!

The Sweet 100

) Copy this list into your site, including the instructions!
2) Bold all of the sweets you’ve eaten!
3) Cross out any of them that you’d never ever eat.
4) Consider anything that is not bold or crossed out your “To Do” List.

1. Red Velvet Cake
2. Princess Torte
3. Whoopie Pie
4. Apple Pie either topped or baked with sharp cheddar
5. Beignet (oooooooooo New Orleans)
6. Baklava
7. Black and white cookie
8. Seven Layer Bar (also known as the Magic Bar or Hello Dolly bars)
9. Fried Fruit pie (sometimes called hand pies)
10. Kringle
11. Just-fried (still hot) doughnut
12. Scone with clotted cream
13. Betty, Grunt, Slump, Buckle or Pandowdy
14. Halvah
15. Macarons
16. Banana pudding with nilla wafers
17. Bubble tea (with tapioca “pearls”)
18. Dixie Cup (I'm not sure what this is, the person I got it from says its ice cream but I can't find it anywhere)
19. Rice Krispie treats
20. Alfajores
21. Blondies
22. Croquembouche
23. Girl Scout cookies
24. Moon cake
25. Candy Apple
26. Baked Alaska
27. Brooklyn Egg Cream
28. Nanaimo bar
29. Baba au rhum
30. King Cake (though maybe when we go back to NOLA)
31. Sachertorte
32. Pavlova
33. Tres Leches Cake
34. Trifle
35. Shoofly Pie
36. Key Lime Pie (made with real key lime)
37. Panna Cotta
38. New York Cheesecake
39. Napoleon / mille-fueille
40. Russian Tea Cake / Mexican Wedding Cake
41. Anzac biscuits
42. Pizzelle
43. Kolache
44. Buckeyes
45. Malasadas
46. Moon Pie
47. Dutch baby
48. Boston Cream Pie
49. Homemade chocolate chip cookies
50. Pralines 
51. Gooey butter cake
52. Rusks
53. Daifuku
54. Green tea cake or cookies
55. Cupcakes from a cupcake shop (Oh Concannon's how I love thee)
56. Crème brûlée (This is something I have ALWAYS wanted to try and never had the opportunity.)
57. Some sort of deep fried fair food (twinkie, candy bar, cupcake)
58. Yellow cake with chocolate frosting 
59. Jelly Roll
60. Pop Tarts
61. Charlotte Russe
62. An “upside down” dessert (Pineapple upside down cake or Tarte Tatin)
63. Hummingbird Cake
64. Jell-O from a mold
65. Black forest cake
66. Mock Apple Pie (Ritz Cracker Pie)
67. Kulfi
68. Linzer torte
69. Churro
70. Stollen/Fruitcake
71. Angel Food Cake
72. Mincemeat pie
73. Concha
74. Opera Cake
75. Sfogliatelle / Lobster tail
76. Pain au chocolat
77. A piece of Gingerbread House
78. Cassata
79. Cannoli
80. Rainbow cookies
81. Religieuse
82. Petits fours
83. Chocolate Souffle
84. Bienenstich (Bee Sting Cake)
85. Rugelach
86. Hamenstashen 
87. Homemade marshmallows
88. Rigo Janci
89. Pie or cake made with candy bar flavors (Snickers pie, Reeses pie, etc)
90. Divinity
91. Coke or Cola cake
92. Gateau Basque
93. S’mores
94. Figgy Pudding
95. Bananas foster or other flaming dessert
96. Joe Froggers
97. Sables
98. Millionaire’s Shortbread
99. Animal crackers
100. Basbousa

My Count:  53/100...more than half, but sounds like my KitchenAid Mixer is going to get a lot of work in the coming years :-)

Tyra Banks

There really is no other title needed. I am so irritated right now.

I'm sitting in the student lounge in Whittiger (sp?). They installed a new tv in here last week. So now, instead of a semi-quiet area to read or study (or in my case, blog) between classes, now we get to listen to Tyra Banks. Ugh. She is a beautiful model, and was great at it, but who decided that giving her a tv show was a good idea?

She took a couple who was already having trouble, split them up, and sent them on individual dates with other people. Hm. I wonder what is going to happen. Of course, the girl mooned over her boyfriend the entire time, missing him, wishing she hadn't gone on this date. The guy, as expected, had a blast, and almost cheated on his girl. Throw in a steamy scene in a pool and you have a dramatic talk show. Flashbacks to Jerry Springer or Maury?

I guess what annoys me, even more so than the very predictable outcome, is what Tyra supposedly stands for. She set out to create this show to prove that African American women are strong and her race has gotten a bad rap. Now, I agree with her point. But she is destroying that image on this show today. I dunno, it all seems very high schoolish to me.

Question of the Day

What question do you hate being asked? Why?

"How's the wedding planning coming?" or "Are you ready for the big day?"

This question can be compared to a high school senior being asked "Are you ready to graduate?" Everyone who sees The Ring or hears about my upcoming nuptuals asks me this question. Seriously people, do you see the exhausted look in mjy eyes? That should answer your question. I have exactly 38 days (Holy freaking crap!) until Jordan and I finally get to tie the knot. The past 11 months have been crazy hectic. I'm always saying "It will get better when..."

...school is out and I have more free time.

...Jordan gets back from Iraq.

...we find an apartment.

...Jordan gets a job.

...we move into our apartment.

...we get unpacked.

...and on and on and on.

I kept blaming it on all of the outside factors. I've been stressed all summer. However, the closer we get, instead of being less stressed, I'm feeling even more pressure. It's not so much that I mind terribly doing weddingy type things, and my mom has helped out so much that there's a lot that I have not had to do. It's the fact that the closer we get, the more conflict there is. People aren't coming who said they were going to help. My mother in law wants to change the time of the wedding so that she can milk her cows. We should have daisies instead of mums. We have to do this, or we can't do that. Some of the things, I just shrug my shoulders at. I'm not a great event planner, and I haven't been involved in many weddings, so there's a lot I don't know. Mom has several friends who either have had their kids get married or want to be event planners, so it's been a big help. They have been able to tell us what things we need to be worried about when (and to give us the push because Mom and I are both procrastinators.) I don't want anyone to think I'm ungrateful for the help. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not good at this kind of thing. But there are some things that I struggle with that are really frustrating.

A big one that anyone whose been a round me lately has undoubtadly heard too much about is my weight. I've gained way too much since Jordan's been home. At first I didn't realize it, I've never really been one to worry about it. Then, when we went to pick out my veil and headpiece, we tried on a sample of my dress (because Lord knows when mine will be in). Now, this dress is amazing, completely opposite of what I had pictured in my head, but amazing nonetheless. However, we ordered it when I was excersizing every day with Tosha, and I had the metabolism of a 5 year old. I looked amazing, and so this dress looked amazing on me. Now, I've gained a lot of weight, and it is all sitting in my belly. Mom says I look 5 months pregnant (trust me, there's no baby in there). I've been trying so hard to diet, it's not working. We bought bikes so we could start exercising, but rarely do I have time, even if I could FIND the energy. I haven't been to the grocery store in 3 weeks because I've been so busy and tired. And I LOVE to grocery shop. The weight is not coming off like I hoped and my self-confidence is taking a hit because of it. I'm going to have to get a body sleeve, because this dress will show every bump imaginable.

Now, don't get me wrong. I can't wait to marry Jordan. To the point where he's getting tired of me asking if we can elope. I just want to be Mrs. Wall. I'm just tired of everyone telling me how to run my own wedding. This is our day. There are two days that people are going to pay this much attention to us:  our wedding, and our funeral. I won't be here to enjoy the second one, so please let me have this one day where I can have things my way.

And stop asking me if I'm ready. I'm ready to be married, I was ready when he proposed 10 months ago. But a bride is never ready for her wedding until those big doors open the back of the church and everyone turns to look at her. Then you won't have to ask me. You'll know.

Green bath curtains

I am constantly amazed by the creatively green products out there. I dont' think this one would work so well in my home, but I could picture it fitting in awesomely in a college house or a New York style loft. Advertising is becoming more and more beautifully created, and here is a way to bring that art into your own home, while covering up the shower mildew from unexpected guests.

A Word about Libraries

With most libraries, I can walk in, take a quick survey of the layout, and then spend hours perusing the shelves packed with novels, biographies, parperbacks, hardcovers. In a public library, the shelves are stuffed. The organization is clear, set out in the careful Dewey Decimal system we learned in the 4th grade. If you are lookng for something specific, it's so easy to find. If you want to browse, there are thousands of books of all subjects to look through, each in their own sections:  Fiction, Nonfiction, Research, Young Adult, Children's, Large Print Fiction, etc. There are comfy chairs in quiet, musty corners. That's a big point--it's quiet. People who frequent public libraries usually have enough respsect to turn the volume off on their cell phones, and no better than to talk loudly about their latest sexual encounter.

I'm a senior now, and still I have never felt comfortable in Ball State's library. In fact, today was the first time I even checked out a book here. I never know where to find anything--that's the biggest problem. I hate the way Brackin is set up. It makes absolutely no sense. Best Sellers are easy enough to find, but that is such a small collection of fiction. I looked up one book on CardCat, it's call number was PQ8098.1 L54 Z46 2008. What does that even mean? Where do I even start to look for it? Brackin is not a browsing library. I can go and print off my homework, or meet for group projects, but it has never really felt like a library to me. It's so noisy. Even on the 4th floor--the "quiet study area"--there is no escape. Phones ring, girls giggle, and boys, well they are just boys. Those of us who actually are there to study or read are too distracted.

Oh, the brightly covered arm chairs and up-to-date computer systems may be exactly what most students are looking for. Maybe I'm just old school. I've even noticed that my library at home has been seriously updated, even adding a hip-looking coffee shop. But I like the musty, dim-lighted corners. I miss finding something new in shelves that I've looked through hundreds of times. I think on my next day off I'm going to get a card to the Muncie Library.

Photo from here.

Oh my tainted childhood...

I remember, long ago, when ever I would indulge in a chocolate cake, my mom would always come around and give me a spit bath to wash off the extra crumbs. I thought this was the grossest thing ever, and I'm not usually squeamish about germs.

This product his hilarious. Everyone I know went through this experience, now they have a product based on that all purpose cleanser known as Your Mom.

yet another alarm clock

I have this fascination with unique alarm clocks. I think maybe its because I have never really had trouble waking up to an alarm (providing I set one...sort of slept through class this morning). It always amused me when first my sisters, then my roomies, and now Jordan didn't wake up to their alarms. At the Beechwood house there were many grouchy mornings where I almost destroyed Mel's phone because it would go off obnoxiously forEVER! That girl does NOT wake up for anything! Haha, I love you!

Anyway, here's another unique one. You don't have to chase a robot around the room, or put a puzzle together, because seriously, who has the energy for that in the morning? Even I do not. All you have to do is stand on this one. It's a mat that goes off until you put enough weight on it. No superhuman mental capacity needed, you just have to get out of bed. Now, this does not mean you can keep a stack of textbooks on your bed to throw on the mat. That would be cheating.

Question of the Day

What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy to much to give up?

Coffee with sugar in the morning. I know that granulated sugar is not the greatest thing for me to consume. Splenda has lass calories, raw sugar is better for my digestive system, Blue Agave nectar is, well I don't know what the benefit is other than I was told it was better for me (my best friend is a yuppie :-P). However, they all taste so strange to me. So I will continue to get my morning caffeine fix by way of 16 ounces of freshly ground coffee with tap water and granulated sugar.

What is YOUR guilty pleasure?

100 Must eat American Foods

Copy to your blog and bold which ones you have eaten! Strike thru any you would never consider.

1. New York pizza
2. Hoppin' John
3. New Mexico green chile
4. Homemade buttermilk biscuits
5. Tasso
6. Whole Maine lobster
7. Calabash-style shrimp and hushpuppies
8. Kansas City barbecue ribs
9. Hot glazed Krispy Kreme
10. San Diego fish tacos
11. Cheese curds
12. Key lime pie
13. Philly cheese steak
14. Memphis pork barbecue sandwich
15. Lowcountry boil
16. Huckleberry pie
17. New England clam chowder
18. Boiled peanuts
19. Buffalo burger
20. Eggs Benedict
21. Pastrami on rye
22. Corned beef and cabbage
23. Pancakes with maple syrup
24. Everything bagel with cream cheese and tomato
25. Thin Mints (preferably frozen)
26. Frito pie
27. Potato knish with mustard
28. Silver Queen corn on the cob
29. Soft pretzel from a street cart
30. Fresh-picked blueberries
31. Sourwood honey
32. State fair funnel cake (no because I'm lame and have never been to the state fair. And I am more an elephant ears)
    
33. Chesapeake crab cakes
34. Candied yams
35. Oyster dressing
36. Snow cone or snowball
37. Wild Alaskan salmon
38. Sautéed morels (Dad and I used to go pick them from the woods behind our house, then sautee them up. The rest of my family didn't like them, which was more for us!_
39. Persimmon pudding
40. General Tso's Chicken
41. Frozen custard
42. Italian sausage with peppers and onions on a hoagie bun
43. Chili dog
44. Buffalo wings with blue cheese
45. Spam musubi
46. Saltwater taffy
47. Fluffernutter sandwich on Wonder Bread
48. Black and white cookie
49. Frybread
50. BLT with thick-cut applewood bacon
51. Baked beans (I consumed soooooo many of these today. One of my favorite foods.)
    
52. Pumpkin pie
53. Collards with vinegar and Tabasco
54. Tex-Mex fajitas with skirt steak and sautéed peppers
55. Fried green tomatoes
56. Succotash
57. Shrimp and grits
58. Hot water cornbread
59. Barbecue chicken pizza with red onions
60. Chicken fried steak
61. Carnitas burrito
62. Apple butter
63. Geoduck
64. Soft-serve ice cream cone dipped in chocolate shell (especially Dairy Queen) (We treated ourselves to Dairy Dream cones on the way home from the funeral today. Definitely hit the spot.)
    
65. Pecan pie
66. Catfish supper at a church or fire station
67. Oysters Rockefeller
68. Homemade cranberry sauce
69. Pimiento cheese
70. MoonPie washed down with R.C. Cola
71. Pickled watermelon rind
72. Cracker Jacks at the ball game
73. Smithfield ham
74. Meatloaf and mashed potato blue plate special at diner
75. Chicken and waffles
76. Po'Boy (not yet, but I plan on eating a HUGE one in NOLA)
    
77. Green bean casserole with French's fried onions
78. Stuffed sopaipillas
79. Turducken
80. Shad roe on toast
81. Sweet potato casserole with or without marshmallows
82. Cioppino
83. New York cheesecake
84. Pan-fried river trout
85. Jambalaya
86. North Carolina pig pickin'
87. California rolls
88. Burgoo
89. Penuche fudge
90. Fried peanut butter and banana sandwich (the Elvis)
91. Scrapple or livermush
92. Elk medallions in red wine reduction
93. Muscadine grapes
94. Cheeseburger at backyard barbecue
95. Open-face turkey sandwich
96. Chicago deep dish pizza
97. Cobb salad
98. Peach pie a la mode
99. Macaroni and cheese with Tillamook sharp cheddar
100. Root beer float

I'm at 56% right now. Pretty pathetic. I need to eat more!

Question of the Day

What's your comfort food?

I think for me, the better question would be: What isn't your comfort food? I'm being serious here. The closer I get to my wedding, and the closer that slinky little dress gets, the more I realize that I am a stress eater. I am constantly thinking of food, and it's even worse knowing that I can't have that cheeseburger that I want so badly. I am trying so hard to lose weight and I hate dieting so much. I am a complete foodie, to give up so many things that I crave constantly is so difficult. It certainly does not help to watch Jordan eat a Big Mac in front of me. That is one of my comfort foods. Big Macs. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

A couple more:
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Peanut Butter and Butter sandwiches (it's a salt thing)
Potato chips of any kind, as long as they are salty and greasy
Basically anything with large amounts of fat in it

I also miss baking, and I just recently figured htis out. I've stopped baking in the past few months, because I know if I do, I will eat the entire batch. But last weekend one of my techs had a cookout and he asked me to bring dessert, so of course I jumped for joy at the task! I made these, which as you can tell just by looking at them, are soooooooooooooooooooo rich. I ended up only having just a bite of one, I didn't even lick the bowl when I made 3 batches! These are going to be a repeat recipe. I WILL make them again when I can eat real food again. I can't wait!

Power's Hamburgers

I've only been here once, but I keep wanting to go back! These are REAL sliders, so much tastier than the White Castle version---and I LOVE White Castle. I remember going waaaaaaaay back during Driver's Training, when Spender suggested that we go to Power's for lunch.

I was pretty excited when they were listed on one of my favorite national foodie blogs under their favorite places for burgers!

Fort Wayne natives...have you ever been to Power's?

Wedding Bands

I've only had one class so far today. The professor was 7 minutes late--Trust me, everyone was counting and watching the clock. I've always been a loner in classes, I usually read or write while waiting for the prof. However, most of my peers have gotten to know each other though various clubs and groups, and they were anxious to catch up after the summer.

Being the casual (and to others, though I don't mean to be, creepy) observer that I am, I overheard a conversation that amused me. Two young men, also in their senior year (it was a 400 level class), were talking about their summers. One of them noticed a band on the other's fourth left finger.

A: "Did you get married this summer?"
B: "Yup I did!"
A: "Hey, so did I!"
B: "When was your date?"
Reader note, I don't remember what day it was. I'm not THAT creepy. The conversation only caught my attention because I am obsessed with all things wedding right now.
B: "You beat me, that's 1 month and 14 days before mine. But my ring is so much better than yours."
A: "I bet mine was much more expensive though."
B: "Probably not, I paid 4-500 for mine."
A: "Mine was 6!"

They went on to discuss metals and decision process they went through picking out the rings, things they were getting engraved on them. I gradually tuned them out and went back to reading Lolita. Still it struck me as amusing because here were two male college students, talking in detail about their wedding. While I'm used to women gabbing about every detail imaginable about their ceremony, it's a rare treat to hear two grooms doing so. B has a good start, he is already counting days since his vows, hopefully he'll be able to remember that date next summer, and plan a very special first anniversary. As technical and egotistical as their conversation was, you could tell from the affection in their rough male way, that they both really loved the woman they married. I hope that Jordan brags about our wedding the way these two men did.

First Day of the Last Year

It's finally here--Senior year. Most of you know that I have had Senioritis for almost a year now. I have been so frustrated with school, Junior year was hell. I know that I have a career path in place, and I'm so anxious to begin. Unlike most of my business college peers, I don't have to go through a grueling set of interviews, career fairs, and internships. I don't have to worry that I may be working at the same amusement park that I've worked with for the past nine summers, because I didn't get that big internship with an accounting firm last year. I have a great start at a rapidly expanding company, in an industry that is here to stay. It may not be the glamorous suit and tie corner office job in New York that so many of my peers are striving for, but it is perfect for me. It's difficult, it challenges me more than I've ever been challenged. I work with amazing people (with one or two exceptions), who work hard AND play hard (as evidenced Saturday night). We are a close-knit team and we've got each others back. It's a great environment to work in, and it is giving me a great amount of experience in many different areas. I know that even if I don't become a "Mr. Rooter Lifer"--as a tech called me the other day--I will be able to find a great position in a company in any area of the Midwest. Jordan would love to move back to Bluffton, and while I have my doubts about that, I'll be prepared to get a good job there.

All this knowledge has me so restless. I want it NOW. I don't want to struggle through another horrible year of juggling work and school and classes. In October, the wedding planning will finally cease, and this year, I don't have to continually worry about my deployed soldier. But different challenges face me this year. In 54 days I will be newly married. I'm learning to run my own household, which most of you know is not an easy task for me. Last year taught me to stand on my own two feet, and do things without help. But now, there is two of us. I have a husband to cook and clean and care for, one who is facing some serious challenges himself right now. Thank you, Lord, for finally giving David the peace he has been needing for 15 years. In 54 days I will officially be a "non-traditional" student, thought I've felt that way for awhile now. We've moved off campus, for a reason. We are going to be looking for another church, a Muncie church. While CCH holds a very dear place in my heart, Jordan and I need to find a home where we can build fellowship with other married, local couples. It's going to be a difficult transition for me, because I have so many close friends at CCH and I want to be able to be a part of all of those amazing activities. But I watched someone I loved dearly struggle with transition last year, and I am trying to learn from her pain.

So here we go. It's the last two semesters that I will be a student. The end is in sight. Finally.

Question of the Day

Are there people you would not tell if their fly was down?

Pretty much, if I know you, I'm gonna tell you. I don't get embarrassed by those things easily. At worst, it will create a awkward moment that we will laugh about later.

If I don't know you, well I'll probably just laugh at you. Maybe not out loud, but you can be sure, I notice everything. So an hour later when you realize you were showing your goods to the world, yep someone noticed. It was me. And inside, I was laughing.

There is ONE person I know that I did not tell that their fly was down. My boss. He stood in the parking lot a few weeks ago and carried on a long conversation about direct mail, all the while his fly was open. That is an awkward moment that does not get turned into a funny story later. It just gets turned into a badly written blog post.

Question of the Day

Where is your favorite place to be alone?

We have a balcony at our new apartment and Jordan surprised me last week with pretty wicker patio furniture :). I love to sit out there after a long day and catch up on my RSS feeds, read a book (currently it's Lolita), and write. We have a pretty good view of the sun going down, and on a cool night, I like to sit out there and unwind before I have to cook dinner and Jordan comes home.

It's a nice way to escape from Keira, who frequently attacks me (She adores Jordan, but for some reason, thinks I am a scratching post. Seriously, check out my arms and legs. It's ridiculous. She just tried to bite my ear off while I'm typing this.) Unfortunately it's too hot and muggy to sit out there tonight, so I sit here with her climbing all over me. I wonder if I smell like catnip or something.

Hm...tangent...

ANYway, it's so nice to have a place outside to go. I'm shielded from the sun, so I won't get pre-marital sunburn. It's also nice to meet some of the neighbors, who walk and play in the lawn below me. The people in the apartment directly below us, while a little rough around the edges, are very friendly, we'll often swap funny stories of the day.

We need this!

Let me tell you a little something about me. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I go to the fridge and there is no ice. Even worse is when someone has put the empty trays BACK into the freezer without refilling them. Sigh. I drink almost all of my beverages with ice--water, juice, even milk. I can't drink things warm, so it really irritates me when there is no ice.

Now let me tell you a little something about Jordan. He does not know how to refill ice cube trays. I'm not kidding. When we lived in the old house, I had to tape a note to the side of the freezer reminding him to refill them. It was a constant argument.

We need this ice cube tray. Not only is it convenient, but it is fun enough that Jordan will refill it on a regular basis.

Cat eating Spagetti

You guys have to read this post and watch this video. It's hilarious. It's one of those things that will make you laugh for no reason, sort of like the dramatic chipmunk.

Question of the Day

What's the biggest leap of faith you've ever had to take?

Jordan and I had been dating a grand total of a month when we found out he would be deployed in March. The feelings we had for each other were already really strong, but how do you know after a month whether or not you will last through 2 years of military hell. I'll never forget the night he told me. I was devastated. It was a difficult night, debating between what my heart was telling me and what my head was telling me. In the end our hearts won and we stuck it out. It's not been an easy 2 years--it's been filled with so much heartbreak and pain, definitely something we are hoping we don't have to go through again. But our relationship is so much stronger now and I know that our marriage will be a happy one.

Miles biked: 8.358 in 1 hour

Question of the Day

What is your favorite time of day and why?

Evenings. I come home from work, and have time to wind down and make dinner before Jordan comes home. Now that I have a bike, I can take off and ride for an hour and get a good workout in before I need to start dinner. I just got back from a ride and I feel fantastic, albeit a little tired and sore since it's only my second day out.

No matter how much I love him, Jordan can be a bit overwhelming if I don't have that wind down time. My job is so stressful that I need do to something to calm my mind, whether I sit down to read, copy down a recipe, or listen to the Dawn and Drew Show while riding on the Cardinal Greenway.

The two or three hours before he gets home has also given me a chance to really cook. I can try out new recipes (more fail than succeed though) and Jordan and I can sit down for a real meal at the end of the day. No, 9pm really isn't the ideal time for a big dinner, but we both really enjoy good food and having a few moments of quiet together to share about our day.

Miles biked: 6.68 for 1 hour

Product Review: Tylenol Severe Allergy

We recently adopted an adorable kitten named Keira. She's lived with us for 2.5 days now and we are smitten. She is gorgeous, active, and so lovey. She loves us as much as we love her! Take a look:
Isn't she beautiful???

The problem? I'm severely allergic. I have been since childhood, though when my family adopted LC way back when, then Smokey and Boo, I gradually got used to having cats in the house. Then came college, and I moved away from home and have lost that immunity. Not only that, but it is hayfever season and my allergies were already going nuts. needless to say, Saturday was miserable. So I went to the store and scoured the allergy aisle. I used to use Claritan during the day, and Benedryl at night. However, Claritan didn't do the job on it's own, and the Benedryl made me feel like death (not to mention the drunken effects immediately after I take it). I did pick up some Claritan during the day, but for night I grabbed Tylenol Severe Allergy. After the trouble with Nana, I've been trying to use Tylenol more often, since it's easier on the stomach, but I was pretty skeptical about the allergy use.

Picture from here.

I took it right before bed last night. Wow. I didn't feel drunk at all. Nor did I wake up feeling like a grizzly coming out of hibernation. I actually felt pretty good. My throat was a little dry, my nose a little clogged, but compared to the miserable hacking mess I've been, I felt amazing! This product works. It does say that it will cause severe drowsiness on the box, so I would be cautious about using it during the day, but paired with a nondrowsy formula for daytime, this keeps my allergies from reeking havoc at night!

hharnish05 is...

Those of you who frequent my actual blog may notice my Twitter feed at the top. Blame my lack of programming skills for the horrible formatting, but I can't figure out how to fix it.

Anyway, I love Twitter. I have it forwarded to my phone. I have it linked to my Facebook status. I have it on Digsby, and as previously mentioned, I have it added to my blog. Therefore, I love this mug. The only downside is that I can't update the status on it.

I want to ride my bicyle, I want to ride my biiiiiiiiike

After 2 months of me saying, "We should really get bikes, it would be such a great way for us to exercise AND spend time together," Jordan and I finally bought new Schwinns today. Well, of course we had to break them in! I had the phones, but I hadn't had any calls all day, so we took off on a ride, making sure to pack my phone and notebook in Jordan's pockets (thank goodness for cargo pants!). We were not a half a mile down Walnut before my phone went off! Sigh. So back to the apartment we went, to dispatch a tech. Blah Blah Blah I worked some.

Flash forward to Take Two of our Maiden Voyage. This time, we were off smoothly. The sun was setting, the air was cooling, not a cloud in the sky. What a beautiful night! Our only real hitch was that Jordan can't figure out his gears--they keep changing on him for no apparent reason. We were really enjoying ourselves, talking about how happy we were that we finally bought bikes, making plans to go out again tomorrow. We took Walnut north to Riggin, then cut over west to the Cardinal Greenway. It really was a beautiful night, though we both said that my allergies are probably going to dislike all of the wild flora. We crossed 400 N, considered turning around, but we were having so much fun, we decided to keep going, even though our quad muscles were screaming by this point (we really have done NO exercising since he's been home). However, fate would have it that coming in the opposite direction was a very attractive jogger, in a tight fitting top. After we passed her, Jordan turned to me and made a comment about how he resisted gawking at her as she ran past. Sigh. We laughed and he put his arm out for a high five.

Seems innocent right? Well, if you know me well, you know that I am not so coordinated. And I hadn't been on a bike for YEARS. I went off the trail just a bit, and overcorrected on the gravel shoulder. I ate asphalt. It was inevitable that I crash on our first time out. I'm a Harnish, that's what we do. We fall. Anyway, all I did was scrape up my ankle a bit on the pavement. It stings quite a bit, but not a serious injury. It was more my pride that was hurt. It shook Jordan up though! He thought I was really hurt. He can be sweet on occaision :).

Obviously, that was the end of our ride. We turned back and made our way back to the apartment. My phone only rang about 5 times on the way home. Sigh. On the way home, we talked about what we needed now that we have new bikes. Helmets (since I can't stay upright), lights (since he works so late that we may go out at night on occaision), water bottle and racks (kind of self explanitory). I think I could really get into this. I really enjoyed it, even though my first time out was frustrating. I'm really out of shape. But, if I keep this up and go out on at least a semi-regular basis for the next few months, I may fit back into my wedding dress. Once I get into better shape, I may start riding to class or work, which will help save on gas. It's about a 10 minute car ride to campus, probably 30 on a bike. Not a bad ride for those days when I don't have to wear heels for a presentation. I really do miss being fit. I miss the high I get when I work out, the joy I get from being outside, the thirst I get for more once I get started.

Ok, time for a shower, then at 10, the Bob Saget Roast!

Miles biked: 6.634 in 1 hour

Rainy Days

I know more than one person who feels this way. Me? While I agree that rainy days yield great activities, I'd much rather curl up with hot coffee and a novel then the Xbox.

Comic from here.

Yogurt prank

These videos are hilarious! Casters for a yogurt commercial put salt in the yogurt to see what the kids reaction would be. You can't really understand what the kids are saying, unless you know what language this is (I'm definitely not multilingual), but the facial expressions are very amusing!

Male/Female Keychains

This is such a great idea! Jordan and I don't really have trouble keeping our keys separate, but it would work for a lot of couples!

Advertising on Municipal Vehicles

I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's great that our mayor is trying to find ways to help with government cash flow. However, how intimidating are our cop cars going to look like with a Tampax ad on the side?

Question of the Day

What is your preferred method of transportation for trips over a couple of hours? Why?

I actually really enjoy long car rides. I did not used to, when I was growing up, as I would get severely carsick. However, I've pretty much grown out of it. Now, I find great enjoyment in driving or riding long distances, especially through small towns. I love to turn the music on loud and sing badly to whatever genre Jordan has flipped the radio to (at least for the next 15 seconds, until he gets tired of it and switches the station again).

We recently traveled 9 hours to visit my cousin in North Carolina. We purchased a Garmin right before the trip to help us navigate since my eyesight is not sharp enough to be much help. For whatever reason, it took us through the middle of nowhere Ohio, down some bumpy country road. It was fantastic! Jordan and I had so much fun! The road trip was just as much fun as the actual visit to Winston-Salem, and that is saying a lot because we had a BLAST climbing mountains and floating down rivers!

I'd like to take more roadtrips, but unfortunately we don't get enough time off. With the price of gas these days, vacations are not quite as cost efficient as they used to be.

6 unspectacular quirks about myself

1. I collect pigs! Right now the collection is small, only a few stuffed animals, but I hope to grow it with time. And now I have a place to put them--in my apartment office!

2. I go through food craving cycles, where I will be hungry for the same thing for about a week. If I don't get that food, I go crazy and will eat everything in the house until it is met. For example, this week has been macaroni and cheese. I should just go buy some, but it isn't good for me, so I've been trying to just eat a slice of smoked gouda when the craving hits (as opposed to the 75 slices of Kraft processed cheese that Jordan eats), but it is not working and so I still feel hungry (even after an entire meal).

3. I love pens and notebooks. I try to journal regularly, often just so I can write with a pretty pen in a pretty notebook.

4. I also LOVE stationary. Unfortunately, there are so few occasions to handwrite a letter anymore. Anybody want a pen pal?

5. I change the background on my computer every day or so. Really anytime I come across a neat picture. Sometimes a few times a day. Thanks to Google Reader, that number is increasing.

6. I am OCD when it comes to my books and music. I keep an Access database for the books I should read (currently at 790), and the books I have read (227), and the music I want to download (224). I alphabetize the books on my shelves, and separate the ones I need to read from the ones I have read. In Itunes, all of my music has to have a title, artist, genre, and rating. It really irritated me that when I got a new computer I had to redo all of my ratings and playlists.

Queston of the Day

What is your "embarrassing" cooking (or food-related) story?


I almost burned the house down! I had bronchitis and was on some serious medication. I was hungry but was running low on groceries. I couldn't go to the store, because it wasn't safe for me to drive. Somehow though, I felt it safe to operate the stove, and decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich because I always have bread, butter, and cheese. The first side cooked perfectly, I flipped it over....and woke up to all of the smoke detectors buzzing! I completely blacked out! Needless to say, the second side was inediblely black. My roommates took my keys away for the next few days, and wouldn't let me cook anything.

What is your story?

Another necessity at the Beechwood house...

...where every plug is occupied. Actually, this product would be good for ANY house really. Just be careful about blowing fuses!

We need this at the Beechwood House

With 3 avid cooks in the house, all sharing one fridge, we definitely could have used this. We have a dry erase board on the wall, but how great would it be if we could write on the fridge? Imagine the pictures, silly messages, to do lists, grocery lists, etc etc etc that would be on it. "We need milk NOW!" "Haley, your salad is gross. Throw it away." "Please refill the ice cube trays when you use the last cube!" "Ok, seriously Haley, lettuce is not supposed to be that color. Throw it away." Oh, and don't forget pictures of Melissa singing at the top of her lungs and Natalie's Kitty Fox.

What a mess!

In my family, we are laptop users. We always have them with us when we are at home, whether we are watching TV, doing homework, or eating dinner. The latter tends to get us in trouble with my father's technicians. They are always griping about the crumbs and debris they find under our keys. Maybe this nifty vacuum would help!

Pretty Journals :)

I'm trying to journal more. I mean old fashioned, pen and paper journaling. There is such a comfort in writing all my thoughts and feelings. While I am learning more about blogging, I still prefer a more hands on approach for my more personal writings. I've always thought there was a book in me somewhere, but I haven't found it yet, so I keep writing.

Maybe actually writing in a used book would help. Probably not, but this is still an awesome idea. Attic Journals takes old hardcover books and turns them into notebooks. I especially love the themed ones. For example, Attic suggests using Being Born for a new parent's diary to record the "firsts."

Multitasking

It seems like I have so little time these days. With work, school, and wedding planning, I am swamped. I'm trying to keep house, do laundry, and get the dishes done, all at the same time. Add on top of that, I'm on a diet and trying to cook for Jordan and I every night. Not to mention the fact that we are preparing to move in the next week or so. I am always doing more than one thing at the same time. This timer is perfect. I can set it for more than one thing! I know, I know, that's what cell phone alarms are for, but I usually have a "Ding" (Thanks Beechwood girls) in the kitchen. I may get one of these for our new apartment :).

Perfect PMS tool

Women of the world, listen up. Some smart cookie out there invented the best product. Now you can eat your Ben & Jerry's (or Haagan Daaz if you are me) without freezing your fingers off!

Get an extra shot in the morning

Jordan keeps telling me that we need to get new guns. Think this would satisfy him??? This would be an awesome gift for any gun lover.

Pocket Pets

What is it with Asia and the obsession with pets you can put in your pockets? First it was Tamagotchi, back in middle school, and now this. I think I preferred digital poop to a pocketful of dead fish.

Why you should be careful when wording an advertisement...

Did the editors and creative team seriously not catch this? This is an ad for a new trail mix type snack. Listen closely at the end at how they describe the product.

Cure for Cancer AND the Energy Crisis

I had to share this video with you guys. This is pretty awesome. I won't waste time explaining it. Just watch the video.

Best wedding toast ever!

Please Brandon, don't do this. You don't have THAT great of a voice. Still, pretty awesome idea!

You went to Borders? OMG I can't believe that!

To me, this law just pushes things way too far. Even the LIBRARY carries sexually explicit books (hello, bodice rippers!). What's next, banning children from entering a library? With books like Sacred Sex, even Christian bookstores could be labeled as Adult Bookstores. Stupid.

Babies!

Ok, so I have baby fever. It's really starting to kill me. Unfortunately, I still have a long way to wait, thanks to the 8 year contract my fiancee signed. Still, I'm super excited about my cousin's baby who is almost here!!!! I always think of her when I see things like this.

MORE Concannon's???

Concannon's wants to expand! Please put it closer to campus...please please please.

Vows

Brainfreeze causes accident

I need to start keeping slushies in my car, so I can use this as an excuse if I'm ever in an accident.

Strange Product of the Day!

Ever been caught out on the golf course, too far away from the clubhouse to reach the facilities in time? Too lazy to drive all the way back in your fancy golf cart? Have no fear, UroClub is here! I wonder how the quality of the swing changes as it fills up.

Polar Bears as Terrorists?

We all know the War on Terror is, at least in part, a War for Oil. Apparently, Bush now considers polar bears terrorists. How DARE they hinder our oil harvesting in order to protect their shrinking habitat!

What you would find if you looked up "Irony" in the dictionary

Does this strike anyone else as hilarious? I'm sure that was the point, Ellen being the prankster that she is. Ellen and her long time girlfriend are getting married, that's old news as of last week. But, they have decided to get married at the Bush ranch. Pretty sure that last time I checked, George W. was dead against gay marriage. Not to mention the hilarious dirty jokes that come to mind at the thought of this.

Drunken Video Game

I think what concerns me the most, is not that involves urine, but that it is designed for two people.

yet another stupid lawsuit

I played softball when I was a kid. I wasn't any good, but I liked running around outside (back when I had so much more energy). I never got hurt, but Kelsey, being the accident-prone beauty that she is, was always getting clobbered. I remember one time when she took a foul ball to the face and ended up with a broken nose (sorry Kels, but you have to admit it is funny now :-P). Maybe Mom and Dad should have sued the bat company for medical damages, like these people did.

To-Do Tattoo

Remember in middle school (and for some of us, high school), when you needed to remember to do some obscure assignment, so you wrote in on the back of your hand? This is like that. Only nerdy.

Pet Tanning Bed

No, your pets won't REALLY get tan, but it's an interesting concept. I'm not one to buy expensive pet products, but I do know how much my cats enjoy laying on the floor next to a sunny window.

Suffering from Facebook Fatigue? by Anita Hamilton

It started innocently enough: last month a friend sent me a virtual lily plant on Facebook and invited me to create a (Lil) Green Patch, a digital garden that would grow on my profile page, and that any of my friends could help water, weed and plant. Sounds cute, right? Not if you've recently suffered through an overwhelming slew of requests to give a grain of rice, send good karma and rate your friends on everything including their hotness, creativity, fashion sense and intelligence. I wasn't merely skeptical — I was annoyed. But I didn't want to be a killjoy — and I love plants — so I went ahead and clicked "Accept."

That is the moment I became part of Facebook's fastest-growing problem: application overload, a.k.a. Facebook fatigue. Like thousands of users before me, I started spamming my friends with requests to grow Green Patches of their own. When they did, I bombarded them with more plants and decorations for their gardens. (Lil) Green Patch is one of the 15 most popular add-on applications on Facebook, according to Adonomics.com, and it has more than 350,000 active users. It's also just one of thousands of viral apps that require you to invite your friends to participate in order to make them useful — and fun. You've seen other apps like it, including Hug Me (send friends a virtual hug or tequila shot), Friends For Sale! (yes, you can actually sell your friends to the highest bidder) and Send Good Karma (swap "blessings," "goodness" and "happiness" with friends).

The backlash is well under way. David Diggs, a junior at Michigan State University who has some 300 Facebook friends, complains, "It's annoying to get about 70 invitations a day about taking some kind of quiz or adding an application." Diggs is one of more than a million people who have joined a Facebook group that is petitioning to ban the inviting of friends on applications. (Ironically, the group encourages members to invite their friends to join the cause.) In February, Facebook responded to users' outcries by allowing people to block application invitations individually, but petitioners are demanding the ability to block all requests with a single click. With more than 20,000 add-on apps for the site, it's nearly impossible to avoid the deluge. While most users won't go so far as to leave Facebook altogether, the increase in "junk" notifications is enough to leave them feeling peeved while they're logged on. (Is there a Send Bad Karma app?)

So why do people spam their friends even though most people hate it? I could claim I was motivated by altruism — proceeds from the ad revenue generated by the (Lil) Green Patch go toward saving the rainforest — but the truth is that I just wanted to grow my garden and see how many different kinds of plants I could send and receive. If I send 1,000 plants I earn a garden gnome. Cool! (By Green Patch's own statistics, the application has contributed a mere $15,650 toward its stated cause since launching in December.)

An even bigger nuisance with using Facebook apps is that it's not always clear how they work. Tina House of Combine, Tex., says she accidentally posted a Valentine's Day greeting that said "I love you," not just to her husband, but to all of her friends, while using the application Super Wall, because she did not realize that the program defaulted to sending the posting to everyone. "I still shudder over that one," she says. And because advertisements are slickly intertwined with the apps — they often use the exact same font and graphics — it's easy to inadvertently click one by mistake. David King, CEO of Green Patch in San Mateo, Calif., says about 5% of the hundred or so e-mails his company receives from users each day are from people who are "confused."

Other users are simply fed up. Shinique Smith, an artist in New York City, says she stopped using the viral apps not because they're confusing, but because they're intrusive. "Every time you do, you have to invite 20 people, and then the next thing you know, 20 other people have invited you to do it. People send me stuff all the time. It's annoying and overwhelming."

App creators insist that people actually enjoy the invitations. "It is something very positive," says Vikas Gupta, an Amazon.com alum who created both the popular Send Good Karma and Hug Me apps, and runs his start-up Jambool out of a spare bedroom in San Francisco's South of Market district. "It is a positive action that people like sending to their friends."

For all my guilt over spamming people who don't think imaginary heather bushes and paradise plants are gifts worth giving, I feel immediately vindicated as soon someone accepts and sends me one in return. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen too often: I've only got four plants now. Won't you send me a few more?

* Find this article at:
* http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1731516,00.html

An Oath to Join the Military

Found this on one of my military sig sites...most of these are absolutely hilarious!

Oath to Join the Military
All persons, upon entering Military Service and upon reenlistment, are required to take the Oath of Enlistment. At one time, the Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their specific function. Here are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment as recently released by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"

US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a Court-Martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam.

US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate" cause I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise >to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, gee dunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet."! I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"

US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (make up a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh..high and tight....grunt...cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig.... burn....blowup....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors' wives..... air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!" X________________ Thumb Print XX ________________ Teeth Marks

Oh this reminds me of SO many people...

Do you ever find yourself watching someone cross the street while texting and wondering if they realize that there is a semi coming towards them? Apparently, I am not the only one who thinks this is a bit ridiculous.

What TO say to a military sig

I've posted lists after lists of things not to say to someone whose soldier is deployed. One of my military sigs finally came up with a good list of what TO say!

1) Ask how he's doing. I may be dealing with this deployment, but I am ALWAYS more worried about him than I am myself... ask about him.

2) Tell me that you don't get it. Admit that you don't understand what I'm going through, rather than trying to come up with a comparison, because there really isn't one.

3) Tell me you'll listen... whenever, wherever. I read an article tonight that said "Grief lasts so much longer than most people's sympathy and patience." Granted, that was in reference to losing your soldier, however, it is also true in this situation. Many people think that it gets easier, or goes away, with time. I never stop missing him, and I never stop worrying about him. Please be there to listen.

4) Tell me we'll go out, just the girls. Being the 3rd/5th/7th wheel is not only uncomfortable, but also sad and lonely right now. I need girls nights now more than ever.

5) Understand that I may not be "in the mood" to go out. It's not that he told me I couldn't, it's that sometimes I just don't want to.

6) Give me time and space to deal with all of this... seriously, although I haven't been pregnant I'm pretty sure the emotions I'm dealing with would be fair competition to it, but remind me that you're there.

7) Be yourself around me. Just because I'm sad doesn't mean I'll be offended if you're not!

2 years? Holy crap!

My technicians have some interesting stories about people's toilets. This is one that I have not heard of.

If you are going to steal doughnuts, don't offer them to the cops. You might just get caught.

A Crackpipe for Coffee Addicts

It must be a sad sad day when you can't find a coffee shop on every corner to get a shot of espresso. I mean really. Not only is this invention a little pathetic, they even made it look like drug paraphernalia.

Science is Making Men Obsolete

Apparently, "they" are working on a new project that will produce sperm from women's bone marrow. How do people come up with this kind of thing? "Oh, I think I'll turn this marrow into baby makers today."

Finally! Birth control for a MAN!

It's finally here ladies. Nonsurgical birth control for a man! And it even comes complete with a remote control, men's favorite tool! Now if we can just get them over their pride haha!

"Man Dies in Crocodile Orgy"

Had to rip off the original title, it was too good to change. To me, this is a common sense thing. Don't jump into a pool of crocs having sex. I think it's pretty awful that they are killing the animals because of human stupidity. You'd be pretty mad too if someone interrupted your lovemaking.

How to Prepare for a Deployment to Iraq

1. Sleep on a cot in the garage.
2. Replace the garage door with a curtain.
3. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife or girlfriend whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, "Sorry, wrong cot."
4. Renovate your bathroom. Hang a green plastic sheet down from the middle of your bathtub and move the showerhead down to chest level. Keep four inches of soapy cold water on the floor. Stop cleaning the toilet and pee everywhere but in the toilet itself. Leave two to three sheets of toilet paper. Or for best effect, remove it altogether. For a more realistic deployed bathroom experience, stop using your bathroom and use a neighbor's. Choose a neighbor who lives at least a quarter mile away.
5. When you take showers, wear flip-flops and keep the lights off.
6. Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and dump dirt on your head.
7. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it on "HIGH" for that tactical generator smell.
8. Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.
9. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise level.
10. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
11. Once a week, blow compressed air up through your chimney making sure the wind carries the soot across and on to your neighbor's house. Laugh at him when he curses you.
12. Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.
13. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a saltine cracker.
14. Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator. Then serve some kind of meat in an unidentifiable sauce poured over noodles. Do this for every meal.
15. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get to the shower as fast as you can. Simulate there is no hot water by running out into your yard and breaking out the garden hose.
16. Once a month, take every major appliance completely apart and put it back together again.
17. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for five or six hours before drinking.
18. Invite at least 185 people you don't really like because of their strange hygiene habits to come and visit for a couple of months. Exchange clothes with them.
19. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
20. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.
21. Keep a roll of toilet paper on your night stand and bring it to the bathroom with you. And bring your gun and a flashlight.
22. Go to the bathroom when you just have to pass gas, "just in case." Every time.
23. Announce to your family that they have mail, have them report to you as you stand outside your open garage door after supper and then say, "Sorry, it's for the other Smith."
24. Wash only 15 items of laundry per week. Roll up the semi-wet clean clothes in a ball. Place them in a cloth sack in the corner of the garage where the cat pees. After a week, unroll them and without ironing or removing the mildew, proudly wear them to professional meetings and family gatherings. Pretend you don't know what you look or smell like. Enthusiastically repeat the process for another week.
25. Go to the worst crime-infested place you can find, go heavily armed, wearing a flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a tent in a vacant lot. Announce to the residents that you are there to help them.
26. Eat a single M&M every Sunday and convince yourself it's for Malaria.
27. Demand each family member be limited to 10 minutes per week for a morale phone call. Enforce this with your teenage daughter.
28. Shoot a few bullet holes in the walls of your home for proper ambiance.
29. Sandbag the floor of your car to protect from mine blasts and fragmentation.
30. While traveling down roads in your car, stop at each overpass and culvert and inspect them for remotely detonated explosives before proceeding.
31. Fire off 50 cherry bombs simultaneously in your driveway at 3:00 a.m. When startled neighbors appear, tell them all is well, you are just registering mortars. Tell them plastic will make an acceptable substitute for their shattered windows.
32. Drink your milk and sodas warm.
33. Spread gravel throughout your house and yard.
34. Make your children clear their Super Soakers in a clearing barrel you placed outside the front door before they come in.
35. Make your family dig a survivability position with overhead cover in the backyard. Complain that the 4x4s are not 8 inches on center and make them rebuild it.
36. Continuously ask your spouse to allow you to go buy an M-Gator.
37. When your 5-year-old asks for a stick of gum, have him find the exact stick and flavor he wants on the Internet and print out the web page. Type up a Form 9 and staple the web page to the back. Submit the paperwork to your spouse for processing. After two weeks, give your son the gum.
38. Announce to your family that the dog is a vector for disease and shoot it. Throw the dog in a burn pit you dug in your neighbor's back yard.
39. Wait for the coldest/ hottest day of the year and announce to your family that there will be no heat/air conditioning that day so you can perform much needed maintenance on the heater/ air conditioner. Tell them you are doing this so they won't get cold/ hot.
40. Just when you think you're ready to resume a normal life, order yourself to repeat this process for another six months to simulate the next deployment you've been ordered to support.

Aninimal Human Hybird...

Who really thinks this is a good idea? Note that they say that a human embryo will be injected into an animal egg in which ALMOST all genetic material will be removed.

This makes me want to ride MITS.

I wonder if we would have the same result here in Muncie. Any takers?

Best Invention Ever!

It may not protect Jordan's packages from breaking, but it sure is great for those days when you are angry and need some release!

For all you Rednecks out there...

This is something straight out of NASCAR. And I can totally see Jordan doing something like this haha!

Pads for clothes

"Apply the slender, stick-on cotton liners to your clothes for instant fashion protection."

Does anybody else think this sounds like maxi-pads? I do. Check out what it really is.

"Thai Chilies Spark Terror Alert in London"

"London's Thai Cottage put the pow in nam prik pao on Wednesday when fumes from a huge pot of dry cooking bird's eye chilies sparked a terror alert that led police to break down the restaurant's door. Firefighters emerged from the eatery with a pot containing nine pounds of smoking peppers.

Soho residents had complained of a chemical burning their throats and the London Fire Brigade quickly dispatched a chemical response team. When I was a kid my chilihead father had the brilliant idea of making his own hot oil in the house by frying peppers in oil. So I can attest to the fact that vapors from smoking chilies do indeed take one's breath away. Thank god dear old Dad didn't use anywhere near nine pounds.

I will say however that smoking peppers do not smell at all like a chemical. Chef Chalemchai Tangjariyapoon agrees, "I was making a spicy dip with extra-hot chillies that are deliberately burnt. To us, it smells like burnt chili and it is slightly unusual."


DiStefano, Joe. "Thai Chilies Spark Terror Alert in London." 5 October 2007. Slashfood.com. 6 October 2007. http://www.slashfood.com/2007/10/05/thai-chilies-spark-terror-alert-in-london/

I knew there was a good reason I did not like these shoes!

One of the nation's largest subway systems — the Washington Metro — has even posted ads warning riders about wearing such shoes on its moving stairways. The ads feature a photo of a crocodile, though they don't mention Crocs by name.

Four-year-old Rory McDermott got a Croc-clad foot caught in an escalator last month at a mall in northern Virginia. His mother managed to yank him free, but the nail on his big toe was almost completely ripped off, causing heavy bleeding.

At first, Rory's mother had no idea what caused the boy's foot to get caught. It was only later, when someone at the hospital remarked on Rory's shoes, that she began to suspect the Crocs and did an Internet search.

"I came home and typed in 'Croc' and 'escalator,' and all these stories came up," said Jodi McDermott, of Vienna, Va. "If I had known, those would never have been worn."

According to reports appearing across the United States and as far away as Singapore and Japan, entrapments occur because of two of the biggest selling points of shoes like Crocs: their flexibility and grip. Some report the shoes get caught in the "teeth" at the bottom or top of the escalator, or in the crack between the steps and the side of the escalator.

The reports of serious injuries have all involved young children. Crocs are commonly worn by children as young as 2. The company introduced shoes in its smallest size, 4/5, this past spring.

Niwot, Colo.-based Crocs Inc. said it does not keep records of the reasons for customer-service calls. But the company said it is aware of "very few" problems relating to accidents involving the shoes, which are made of a soft, synthetic resin.

"Thankfully, escalator accidents like the one in Virginia are rare," the company said in a statement.

In Japan, the government warned consumers last week that it has received 39 reports of sandals — mostly Crocs or similar products — getting stuck in escalators from late August through early September. Most of the reports appear to have involved small children, some as young as two years old.

Kazuo Motoya of Japan's National Institute of Technology and Evaluation said children may have more escalator accidents in part because they "bounce around when they stand on escalators, instead of watching where they place their feet."

In Singapore, a 2-year-old girl wearing rubber clogs — it's unclear what brand — had her big toe completely ripped off in an escalator accident last year, according to local media reports.

And at the Atlanta airport, a 3-year-old boy wearing Crocs suffered a deep gash across the top of his toes in June. That was one of seven shoe entrapments at the airport since May 1, and all but two of them involved Crocs, said Roy Springer, operations manager for the company that runs the airport terminal.

One U.S. retailer that caters to children, Mattel subsidiary American Girl, has posted signs in three locations directing customers wearing Crocs or flip-flop sandals to use elevators instead of escalators.

During the past two years, so-called "shoe entrapments" in the Washington subway have gone from being relatively rare to happening four or five times a week in the summer, though none has caused serious injuries, said Dave Lacosse, who oversees the subway's 588 escalators, the most of any U.S. transit system.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said escalator accidents caused more than 10,000 injuries last year, but the agency has few records of specific shoe problems. Only two shoe entrapments have been reported by consumers since the beginning of 2006. One reported in May involved "rubber footwear."

Agency spokesman Ed Kang urged people who have had problems to report them on the commission's Web site.

Crocs officials said they were working with the Elevator Escalator Safety Foundation on public education initiatives. But the group's executive director, Barbara Allen, said that's not true.

Allen said a Crocs official called her in September 2006 about possible cooperation, even suggesting the company might put a tag in its shoes with the foundation's Web address. But since that first contact, Crocs has not called, and nobody from the company will return Allen's calls, she said.

Washington Metro's Lacosse and other escalator experts say the best way to prevent shoe entrapments is to face the direction the stairs are moving, keep feet away from the sides and step over the teeth at the end.

Lacosse, of the Washington subway system, said he is personally skittish of Crocs and other soft-soled shoes.

"Would I wear them? No," he said. "And I tell my children not to wear them either."


Associated Press. "Load of Croc? Popular Shoes May Pose Danger to Toes on Escalators." 18 Sept 2007. FOXNews.com. 18 Sept 2007. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,297143,00.html

Lipstick in the Bathroom

According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom.That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the washroom and met them there with the maintenance man. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY..

There are teachers, and then there are Educators.

"Lipstick in School." Boortz.com. 15 Sept 2007. http://boortz.com/more/funny/lipstick_in_school.html

French Fry Chips

I don't know about you guys but I think sometimes the snack food industry just goes too far. If you want french fries and are willing to eat the calories (which, I usually am), why not just go get the real thing??? Just another way to Have It Your Way, I guess.