WARNING: MUSH ALERT!

J left for his annual 3 week field training for the military. For some reason, his unit opts for 3 weeks, instead of the traditional 2. Yeah, it's great for the unit but it sucks a big one for the wives!

It's only been a few days but already I'm having a rough time of it. "But Haley, you guys survived a year and a half deployment! 3 weeks should be easy!!!" I've been hearing that a lot lately, as we've prepared for this. It should be easy. But it's not. Actually, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I went home this weekend to escape the fact that it was harder than I thought it was going to be.

Our relationship has changed so much in the past two years. When J deployed, we had only been dating 9 months. We weren't living together--I lived at school and he lived with his mom. We spent as much time as possible together, but it was usually once or twice a week, definitely not every day. We knew we would probably be together long term, but our relationship still had a lot of growing to do, and the deployment had a lot to do with that. He was gone, but my life wasn't centered around him. I missed him terribly, more than I ever thought I could, but my day to day life didn't really involve him.

Now, however, J is the most important person in my life. He's here, every single day, at the beginning, at the end, sometimes in the middle. Our marriage is still new and we're still working out the kinks, but he is an integral part of my day to day life. It's hard enough on drill weekends, where he's gone overnight. I hate drill weekends. But take him out of the picture for 3 whole weeks? I'm not really sure what to do with myself. Luckily, my family is close enough that I can go home on the weekends, so I'm not stuck in this tiny studio apartment by myself on the weekends. But nights are hard, like tonight. The apartment is quiet, even Keira has settled down for the time being. I've been trying to read but I can't stay focused. Normally, J'd be sitting next to me watching YouTube videos, driving me crazy because the volume is too loud and if I have to listen to one more screaming skateboarder I might throw the laptop out the window!

I don't know where I'm going with this. I miss my husband. That's about it. 4 days down, 18 to go :(.

My Better Half

My ex's father once told me that the phrase "other half" was stupid and made no sense. You can't fall in love with someone else until you yourself are whole. Looking back, I know what he was getting at. He was telling an insecure teenager that she needed to love herself before she could expect anyone to love her.

However, I tend to disagree with him that the phrase is silly. Any Army wife knows EXACTLY what that phrase means. Maybe not so much when he is home. But his absence, whether it is one night, a week, a year, is felt so much more than his presence. I can't explain the feeling, other than to say it feels like a piece of you is missing. Something is off. I feel restless, uncomfortable, insecure. It's different from when he just works late. I know he's not coming home tonight, and because of that, I am so, so lonely.

I will not miss this chapter in our lives. I hate going somewhere and being asked by every single person, "Where's J.?" He was supposed to come with me to the wedding today but of course, it was drill weekend. There's nothing worse than attending a wedding alone. It's sort of fitting, because he was absent the entire time I lived with N. and was active in the Campus House. Still, I wanted him to be there.

Ok, I'm going to go to bed now and stop whining. Sorry for this little rant. He'll be home tomorrow night and I will feel so much more at ease.

3 more years...

Reading: Watership Down by Richard Adams

It's about tiiiiiiiiiime (clap clap clapclapclap)

Wow, I graduate next weekend. That's crazy. And the Monday after, I start my official full-time job. All this change has me thinking about the past few years.

When you tell someone you're a student, they have one image--short skirts, lots of beer, sleeping until noon. They picture the hostess at Cheeseburger in Paradise, driving around in Daddy's shiny new car. They see such an easy life, full of dates and parties. I know several stereotypical college girls, and while it's definitely not all fun and games, they definitely live in a completely different world.

(Now, before I get a bunch of angry comments, let me just say, I have nothing against the stereotypical college girl. My sister happens to be one of them, and she works REALLY hard. All I'm saying is that there are a lot of things about college life that I do not understand, mostly Greek traditions. Have a conversation with K. and she'll tell you I would NEVER fit into her sorority!)

Sorry about that tangent, I'll get to my point. My college career has been anything but easy. I have never been the traditional college student. I'm far to introverted. The first two years I spent curled up on my bed with a book. Then, my sophomore year I got a job as an after hours customer service rep and dispatcher for a local plumbing company. That same year, I met J. Those two took over. I loved my job, I felt like I was actually doing something productive. And you all know what happen with J. :). Anyway, about the same time, I started taking my business courses, and that's when the real disdain for college started. I LOVED my core classes (well, except astrology and math). But I never saw a point in the business courses. I made the mistake of being a Business Administration major, instead of something more specific. The major has no plan. I had to take a few classes in each department, but there was no real direction. I have had a very hard time connecting what I'm learning in accounting to what I'm learning in human resources. And throw in finance and it's all over (literally. I failed my last finance class. Upper level theoretical analysis of investments just could NOT take root in my brain, no matter how much I studied).

My junior year, I really started to feel awful about school. While I've never been the smartest person in my class, I've always felt somewhat intellegent. But that year I really started to feel stupid. Add to that the fact that J. was in Iraq and my main source of support was now limited to 1 line emails and 4 minute phone calls on tapped lines. It was a rough year, but I made it though. But I wanted to quit. Ask anyone. I just wanted to drop out, I would NEVER make it though my senior year. I was beaten up. But, I'm too stubborn to quit with only one year left.

Then I took that finance class I mentioned above. I also got married the same semester. It was awful. The decreasing confidence I had was completely dashed. I was exhausted. But I had one semester left. And luckily, I only had 3 electives and 1 business course (and 1 10 week internet course to replace the finance class, but that wasn't a big deal). Which really shouldn't have been bad except I've been sick more this semester than I've ever been. I even ended up in the ER a few weeks ago.

But now, I'm almost there. I'm going to make it. I'm going to walk across that damn stage (and then wait a month for my diploma to arrive). Then, I'm probably going to burn my books and notebooks and Ball State sweatshirts and anything else related to college. Ok, not really. But I will clean out all of my notebooks. And then I'm headed out of town, with or without my husband, depending on if he can get off work. But either way, I'm out of here. Going down to visit my cousin in North Carolina for a few days. And I'm taking AN ENTIRE WEEK OFF. 7 whole days! I didn't even take that much off when I got married. I'm really really excited! Can you tell?

Anniversaries

You know, when I was a little girl, I wanted nothing to do with anything feminine. I loathed dresses, bows, the color pink, even JEANS were too girly! I LIVED in those colorful windsuit pants that we all wore in the 90s (come on, you know you had some). I wanted to be able to run around and race the boys. I was SUCH a tomboy! I mean really, I didn't even know how to pull my hair back in a ponytail until I was in middle school. My mom always did it for me, to make me look presentable in public. I just plain didn't care. While my sisters played with Barbies, I played with Tonka trucks and Breyer Horses. I bragged that I could run across our gravel driveway without shoes on and it didn't even hurt!

I hated dolls. I never saw the point in them, I thought they were silly (never mind that I had a huge collection of stuffed animals. THAT was different!). I hated babies in any form, flesh or plastic, it made no difference. I had a birthday party when I was in second or third grade and one of the girls gave me a cabbage patch doll. I threw a fit because anybody who knew me at all knew that I hated dolls. Poor girl, she left the party crying! I feel bad now, Cabbage Patch dolls are worth a fortune! (ok so that's not the only reason I feel bad.)

Along with my hatred of babies, I also swore I would never get married. I had no sense of romance back then, I wasn't one to giggle over the cute boy in the class. I was best friends with the cute boy in class! And I could run faster than him too! I was going to be a successful jockey (or something horse related), and I would have no need for a husband.

Flash forward a decade. I became reacquainted from one of those boys I used to race around the school yard, and we fell in love. Six months ago today, I married that boy. He drives me absolutely crazy, but I'm crazy about him! I'm still trying to figure out this whole domestic wife thing. It doesn't help that I'm a full-time student and have an all but full-time job. Most of the time laundry sits on my floor until I have time to fold it, and I don't always get my dishes washed at night. My mom will be disgusted when she reads that, but for me, those aren't the most important things in my life. Dishes and laundry come second to quality time with my husband, and trying to keep myself from getting burnt out. Sometimes, I just have to unwind in the evening, instead of working even more. I'll figure out the routine eventually.

Calling all healthy people

Here's the deal. I am sick of being sick all the time. I am so unhealthy right now and I need help figuring out how to get my body back where it needs to be. The way Jordan and I are living right now is obviously not working, so I'm coming to you guys for help.

I'm in my last semester of college, taking 12 regular hours and 3 online independent study hours. I have a very demanding job that takes soooooooooo much of my time and energy. On top of all that, I'm struggling to figure out the housewife thing. I'm not a natually domestic person. I hate to clean and with my busy schedule it is hard for me to get into the routine of keeping the apartment tidy, and cleaning really stresses me out.

The kitchen is the one place I don't get stressed (well most of the time anyway). I'm getting better at creating menus two weeks at a time, so I can buy all the ingredients I need, to minimize our grocery bills and the junk food we eat during the week. I try to cook with fresh, healthy ingredients. 

So you see the general picture. The stress from going to school full time and working so much has just beaten down my immune system. I have been sick more days in the past month than I can count. My job isn't one where I can call in sick very often, especially when I'm sick on the weekends, like today. Migraines rule lately, along with colds and digestive issues that really hinder my ability to go about my day. As much as I would love to go to the gym every day, it's just not an option, and by the time I get home at night, I'm exhausted. I do ride horses once a week, but it's not enough. I've gained 15-20 pounds in the past year, and I just feel disgusting.

Help me please! Any suggestions on ways to motivate myself to exercise, vitamins you take that make you feel great, tips on how to keep my apartment less of a mess, anything would be amazing. I've gotta figure something out or I'm never going to make it until graduation. I'm losing the battle with stress, and I know I have much less crises than a lot of other families do right now. Thanks guys!

We Did It!!!

Well kids, after 11 months of stress, stress, and more stress, we finally tied the knot Saturday. The day was such a whirlwind, I hardly know where to begin!  I know there were many people who wanted to be there but couldn't, so I'll give you the recap of the day. This is sort of my way of thanking those who made our day so special (Thank You cards will be sent out, but there are about 300 to write, so they'll be pretty generic unfortunately).

First off, the night before...man what chaos! Thankfully, my parents, Jordan and I had met with our pastor the week beforehand, to go over all the major details. I would recommend to anyone getting married, do this. We laid out what we wanted, so that when we got to rehearsal, most of the decision making was out of the way. I actually made a major change to the ceremony setup that day that would not have been possible to accomplish during rehearsal. I decided that I wanted to stand on the left! Crazy I know. Here's the explination, for those of you who weren't at rehearsal to hear it:  when my cousin got married last year, I had never met the groom. But, because of the traditional bride's side and groom's side, I could only stare at K's back the entire ceremony. While she has a very pretty back, I would have much rather watched her face. I decided then that when it was my turn to say my vows, I would be facing my family. Not only that, but I knew my sisters had something special planned, and if I stood on the traditional bride's side, I would not be able to watch them in the choir box (which would have been behind me). It was quite comical the night of rehearsal because Jordan's grandmother came clomping down the aisle to tell the pastor that he didn't know what he was doing!

Then it was morning, and all of us girls got up at the crack of dawn. After a quick cup of coffee, we loaded up and went to our hair appointment. My "second mommy" fixed us up all pretty (I don't think I've ever had that much hairspray!). This is about when it really kicked in for the first time that I was really getting married! 

After our hair appointment we all went to the church to get ready. Another one of mom's friends brought us lunch and then it was time to get into my dress! I felt like a Barbie doll with everyone pulling and primping and fixing and all that.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I was allowed to see Jordan. We hadn't seen each other since the rehearsal dinner the night before! Again, not very traditional, but I'm so glad we decided to see each other before the ceremony. The photographer was in the room with us but neither one of us had any idea. I'm anxious to see these pictures. There were lots of tears of joy!

After that, lots and lots of pictures. Jordan and I both hate the camera being in our face, so we weren't looking forward to this part. However, our photographer did a fantastic job and made us feel very comfortable. She said it will be about 3 weeks for the pictures to be done, so I'll post those as soon as possible.

Is it really time to go? OMG!!!! I had a minor freak out at this point...Mom made me eat a little more to calm me down. Down the stairs to the fellowship hall, then up again into the foyer. Then one of my "brothers" started to sing. I could barely hear him but it really gave me a peace. The wedding party started their walk, Dad and I hid just out of sight. Will Maycee go down the aisle? I was told she did, but I wish I could have seen it. She probably stole the show! OMG it's my turn! Deep breath! Thankfully Lauren was there to make me breathe. She fixed my hair, my dress, and then it was time to go. The ushers opened the doors and there was Jordan. I don't think I looked at the audience the entire ceremony. Only Jordan.

A great deal of the ceremony is a blur to me. We said the vows at the right time, lit the unity candle, took communion (so glad we decided to do this!). We kissed, and then my sisters went to the choir box. I knew they had been planning something for a long time, but I had just assumed that they had picked some sweet song to sing. But then Kelsey said she wrote it. I thought I had heard wrong, but at that point I was already crying. I wish I had a recording of the song to post on here, it was incredible. It turns out Kelsey had written the lyrics way before we were engaged, and gave it to my uncle to write music for at Thanksgiving. I had no idea. It was such an amazing part of my day. After all that, we were pronounced man and wife (finally!) and then dismissed our guests. We rang the church bell and then it was time to party!

And boy what a party! The meal was great, more pictures were taken. And the dancing! Anyone who knows me knows that I do not like being the center of attention. I'll dance, but usually only if there is a huge crowd and I am in the back of it. But not this day! I had been so stressed out for so long that I hardly left the floor. Fast songs, slow songs, everyone had so much fun. We finished the night by singing "Hang on, Sloopy," an oldie that I fell in love with at Kristen's wedding. Most of the guests are not Ohio State fans, and honestly, neither am I, but the song was a hit anyway. 

I will make one comment about the wedding night. There is something that they don't show in movies and I feel all brides should be warned of. The wedding night is not full of romance like the movies would have you believe. Instead picture the bride sitting on the bed in tears while the groom tries desperately to get the headpiece and bobby pins out of her hair! Oh it was awful. It sure looked pretty during the day, but it was miserably difficult to get out!

My mom threw a morning after brunch the next day for the family that was still in town. Then we were off to our minimoon! We stopped at Oliver Winery and I'm so glad we did! I've converted my beer-drinking husband into a Wino!

Brown County was awesome, although we almost died (ok maybe that is a slight exaggeration)! The heat wouldn't turn on in our cabin so Jordan lit a fire in the fireplace. He had played with the flue and thought it was open, so we really stopped paying attention the fire. The next thing we knew, our eyes burned and I started wheezing. The cabin was filled with smoke! Jordan quickly doused the fire and got me outside and made me breathe the fresh air. I was slightly panicked, so my brave new husband had to save the day! We froze that night, thinking it very strange that the cabin didn't have any extra blankets stored for emergencies. The next day, we went horseback riding in the park and shopped in Nashville. We came home that evening to a warm cabin! Somehow, the heat that would not kick on for anything the night before, started in the middle of the day. Weird. Oh and when we were packing up to leave, we found the spare blankets. And a guest book that explained the flue and the heaters. All were hidden in very strange places. You'd think in a publicly rented cabin that those things should be placed in obvious spots for stupid people who don't work fire places on a normal basis.

Ok seriously, Haley. Wrap this up. I got a little carried away. I'm married. Whoo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some last minute wedding thoughts

I know I said I probably wouldn't blog until after the wedding, but I lied. There's a few things on my mind and I figured it would be a nice little update. Here goes....

Wow. That's the word that just keeps going through my mind. We have 5 days left! This thing called a wedding is really going to happen! The feeling is a bit overwhelming. While Jordan and I only got engaged about 11 months ago, we've been thinking and talking about getting married for a much longer time than that. It's always been that thing we are going to do in the future. It's now not really so far in the future anymore. We met with Pastor Bell yesterday evening, he kind of walked us through what we were going to be doing (a great idea for you future brides out there, meet with your officiant before the rehearsal. It will take so much pressure off!). It just made the whole thing so real. We were both pretty choked up by the time we left the church.

What's really strange about the whole thing is that the closer I get, the less stressed out I seem to be. I've been all but losing it the past month or so, but in the past few days I've been pretty relaxed. Sure, there are a few last minute details to put together, but for the most part, everything is done. I go in for my final fitting tomorrow, and actually get to take my dress home! I have my rehearsal outfit, I've started packing for our minimoon. 

Basically, I had to force myself to snap out of the funk I've been in. I've been so worried about all of the details of the wedding, and school and work, and everything else going on right now, that I really haven't enjoyed any of the planning process. But last week, after a long conversation with Mom on our way to Indy (and back and all the time in between), I finally got it into my thick skull that it doesn't matter that work has been super stressful lately, or the economy has crashed, or there has been so much drama with the bridesmaid dresses. For one amazing day, it is all about Jordan and me. I know that as soon as the moment comes when we first see each other, everything else will melt away. It will be just like that first night we really knew each other, when we laid out for hours on top of Christman's SUV and watched the stars. There was such a peace that night, not really a "love at first sight" moment, but just a peace of mind that said "this is it, this is what it's supposed to feel like to really connect with someone."

We've grown so much since then, our relationship has gotten much more complicated, and there's been more drama than stars in that bright sky. Still, we've gotten through a deployment, a devastating loss, and so many other smaller troubles. He's still the one I want to come home to at night, the one I laugh with, cry with, yell with. The one who rubs my feet when we're watching Mythbusters and eating leftovers on a night when I've been pushed to my limit. The one who drives me nuts when he mixes the white laundry with the blue jeans or puts an empty ice pan back into the freezer. I can't wait for him to drive me crazy for the rest of my life :). We're going to face at least one more deployment, many more devastating losses. I'm going to have to fight him every morning when he chooses Doritos instead of granola for breakfast. But he is going to be the one I jump up and down with when I FINALLY get this damn diploma, the one I'm going to share my beignets with in NOLA, the one who's going to hold my hand when I'm having my babies and every happy moment after. For all his "Oh Jordan" moments, he is such a strong and sturdy rock in my life and I can't wait to go through life with him holding my hand.

Phew, that was a lot longer than I planned. 5 days left people. LET'S DO THIS THING!!!!

Question of the Day

What question do you hate being asked? Why?

"How's the wedding planning coming?" or "Are you ready for the big day?"

This question can be compared to a high school senior being asked "Are you ready to graduate?" Everyone who sees The Ring or hears about my upcoming nuptuals asks me this question. Seriously people, do you see the exhausted look in mjy eyes? That should answer your question. I have exactly 38 days (Holy freaking crap!) until Jordan and I finally get to tie the knot. The past 11 months have been crazy hectic. I'm always saying "It will get better when..."

...school is out and I have more free time.

...Jordan gets back from Iraq.

...we find an apartment.

...Jordan gets a job.

...we move into our apartment.

...we get unpacked.

...and on and on and on.

I kept blaming it on all of the outside factors. I've been stressed all summer. However, the closer we get, instead of being less stressed, I'm feeling even more pressure. It's not so much that I mind terribly doing weddingy type things, and my mom has helped out so much that there's a lot that I have not had to do. It's the fact that the closer we get, the more conflict there is. People aren't coming who said they were going to help. My mother in law wants to change the time of the wedding so that she can milk her cows. We should have daisies instead of mums. We have to do this, or we can't do that. Some of the things, I just shrug my shoulders at. I'm not a great event planner, and I haven't been involved in many weddings, so there's a lot I don't know. Mom has several friends who either have had their kids get married or want to be event planners, so it's been a big help. They have been able to tell us what things we need to be worried about when (and to give us the push because Mom and I are both procrastinators.) I don't want anyone to think I'm ungrateful for the help. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not good at this kind of thing. But there are some things that I struggle with that are really frustrating.

A big one that anyone whose been a round me lately has undoubtadly heard too much about is my weight. I've gained way too much since Jordan's been home. At first I didn't realize it, I've never really been one to worry about it. Then, when we went to pick out my veil and headpiece, we tried on a sample of my dress (because Lord knows when mine will be in). Now, this dress is amazing, completely opposite of what I had pictured in my head, but amazing nonetheless. However, we ordered it when I was excersizing every day with Tosha, and I had the metabolism of a 5 year old. I looked amazing, and so this dress looked amazing on me. Now, I've gained a lot of weight, and it is all sitting in my belly. Mom says I look 5 months pregnant (trust me, there's no baby in there). I've been trying so hard to diet, it's not working. We bought bikes so we could start exercising, but rarely do I have time, even if I could FIND the energy. I haven't been to the grocery store in 3 weeks because I've been so busy and tired. And I LOVE to grocery shop. The weight is not coming off like I hoped and my self-confidence is taking a hit because of it. I'm going to have to get a body sleeve, because this dress will show every bump imaginable.

Now, don't get me wrong. I can't wait to marry Jordan. To the point where he's getting tired of me asking if we can elope. I just want to be Mrs. Wall. I'm just tired of everyone telling me how to run my own wedding. This is our day. There are two days that people are going to pay this much attention to us:  our wedding, and our funeral. I won't be here to enjoy the second one, so please let me have this one day where I can have things my way.

And stop asking me if I'm ready. I'm ready to be married, I was ready when he proposed 10 months ago. But a bride is never ready for her wedding until those big doors open the back of the church and everyone turns to look at her. Then you won't have to ask me. You'll know.

Wedding Bands

I've only had one class so far today. The professor was 7 minutes late--Trust me, everyone was counting and watching the clock. I've always been a loner in classes, I usually read or write while waiting for the prof. However, most of my peers have gotten to know each other though various clubs and groups, and they were anxious to catch up after the summer.

Being the casual (and to others, though I don't mean to be, creepy) observer that I am, I overheard a conversation that amused me. Two young men, also in their senior year (it was a 400 level class), were talking about their summers. One of them noticed a band on the other's fourth left finger.

A: "Did you get married this summer?"
B: "Yup I did!"
A: "Hey, so did I!"
B: "When was your date?"
Reader note, I don't remember what day it was. I'm not THAT creepy. The conversation only caught my attention because I am obsessed with all things wedding right now.
B: "You beat me, that's 1 month and 14 days before mine. But my ring is so much better than yours."
A: "I bet mine was much more expensive though."
B: "Probably not, I paid 4-500 for mine."
A: "Mine was 6!"

They went on to discuss metals and decision process they went through picking out the rings, things they were getting engraved on them. I gradually tuned them out and went back to reading Lolita. Still it struck me as amusing because here were two male college students, talking in detail about their wedding. While I'm used to women gabbing about every detail imaginable about their ceremony, it's a rare treat to hear two grooms doing so. B has a good start, he is already counting days since his vows, hopefully he'll be able to remember that date next summer, and plan a very special first anniversary. As technical and egotistical as their conversation was, you could tell from the affection in their rough male way, that they both really loved the woman they married. I hope that Jordan brags about our wedding the way these two men did.

First Day of the Last Year

It's finally here--Senior year. Most of you know that I have had Senioritis for almost a year now. I have been so frustrated with school, Junior year was hell. I know that I have a career path in place, and I'm so anxious to begin. Unlike most of my business college peers, I don't have to go through a grueling set of interviews, career fairs, and internships. I don't have to worry that I may be working at the same amusement park that I've worked with for the past nine summers, because I didn't get that big internship with an accounting firm last year. I have a great start at a rapidly expanding company, in an industry that is here to stay. It may not be the glamorous suit and tie corner office job in New York that so many of my peers are striving for, but it is perfect for me. It's difficult, it challenges me more than I've ever been challenged. I work with amazing people (with one or two exceptions), who work hard AND play hard (as evidenced Saturday night). We are a close-knit team and we've got each others back. It's a great environment to work in, and it is giving me a great amount of experience in many different areas. I know that even if I don't become a "Mr. Rooter Lifer"--as a tech called me the other day--I will be able to find a great position in a company in any area of the Midwest. Jordan would love to move back to Bluffton, and while I have my doubts about that, I'll be prepared to get a good job there.

All this knowledge has me so restless. I want it NOW. I don't want to struggle through another horrible year of juggling work and school and classes. In October, the wedding planning will finally cease, and this year, I don't have to continually worry about my deployed soldier. But different challenges face me this year. In 54 days I will be newly married. I'm learning to run my own household, which most of you know is not an easy task for me. Last year taught me to stand on my own two feet, and do things without help. But now, there is two of us. I have a husband to cook and clean and care for, one who is facing some serious challenges himself right now. Thank you, Lord, for finally giving David the peace he has been needing for 15 years. In 54 days I will officially be a "non-traditional" student, thought I've felt that way for awhile now. We've moved off campus, for a reason. We are going to be looking for another church, a Muncie church. While CCH holds a very dear place in my heart, Jordan and I need to find a home where we can build fellowship with other married, local couples. It's going to be a difficult transition for me, because I have so many close friends at CCH and I want to be able to be a part of all of those amazing activities. But I watched someone I loved dearly struggle with transition last year, and I am trying to learn from her pain.

So here we go. It's the last two semesters that I will be a student. The end is in sight. Finally.

Question of the Day

What's the biggest leap of faith you've ever had to take?

Jordan and I had been dating a grand total of a month when we found out he would be deployed in March. The feelings we had for each other were already really strong, but how do you know after a month whether or not you will last through 2 years of military hell. I'll never forget the night he told me. I was devastated. It was a difficult night, debating between what my heart was telling me and what my head was telling me. In the end our hearts won and we stuck it out. It's not been an easy 2 years--it's been filled with so much heartbreak and pain, definitely something we are hoping we don't have to go through again. But our relationship is so much stronger now and I know that our marriage will be a happy one.

Miles biked: 8.358 in 1 hour

Male/Female Keychains

This is such a great idea! Jordan and I don't really have trouble keeping our keys separate, but it would work for a lot of couples!

Best wedding toast ever!

Please Brandon, don't do this. You don't have THAT great of a voice. Still, pretty awesome idea!

Vows